Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Spend your time wisely.

 "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness"- Julian Germain
I found this on the cover of a rare book on the third floor of the popular Strand bookstore (12th and Broadway). I only had passed by the stand that sets up shop along Central Parka few times before and was more than happy to make time to visit the actual store. Speaking of time, I constantly wish I had more. If I had more free time I know for a fact it would be spent reading, browsing stores like Strand that offer old and new selections of material, and doing some writing of my own. Strand's miles of books, desired and unique selection, knowledgeable staff, and ability to keep the brick and mortar bookstore alive interested me.Competing with e-books and iPads, Strand seems to be holding their own and their word or mouth and licensed products (most popular being the various tote bag options) have created great advertising for the book business.

Back to this new theory of time, directly relating to our mental state of content. Julian Germain is entirely correct, why spend our time being miserable when we can choose to be optimistic? Sounds cliche, being happy that is, but I know being happy increases productivity, self sufficency, and our personal well being. Happiness comes in many forms and many people don't feel like they have experienced it but I feel if we take the time we can realize its presence in our lives.

I am someone who can't stand to waste time and constantly wish I had time. If I could eliminate sleep from my daily routine and still function properly I would, unfortunately my eyes shut eventually. I just need to make sure I spend the time I'm spent awake doing my best to achieve happiness because I don't want to lose even just 60 seconds.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I'm Happy.

My mom said I can't so...

I love my mom more than words can express. I'm coming home for Christmas and during one of our frequent phone conversations I told her how badly I wanted to cut my hair, her tone suddenly changed, "Becka you can't cut your hair until after Xmas".

I'm 20 years old and nothing my parents has said has held me back; that is what is called advice but ultimately the decision is mine. Because I understand my mom's attachment to my hair I'll hold onto my locks just a bit longer but many other grown kids deal with other situations bigger than haircuts.

When I moved to Cali, before NY, I was ready and had earned the funds to do so. My mom's friends asked her,why don't you tell her not to move to LA, even she knew her words weren't going to change my mind. I'm not saying I didn't have help but inside my head the decision was set in stone.if you are paying, its your decision.

I guess what I'm saying is that there are a lot of "moms" out there. The ones that welcome us home with a full kitchen and those that are dressed up as our employees, our peers, and the media.

 Turn off your ears to "you can't".

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

This is what I know love to be.

I wrote this as an assignment for my school's writing group, I'm so excited to be blogging again. I promise more posts and shorter posts. I'm excited!

I used to think true love was only present on a front porch, in a rocking chair, and enjoying the romantic and comfortable silence between two aged lovebirds, then I found out that although that exists true love is also alive in a younger demographic. The first example seems unattainable until you are older and some stranger interrupts your daily activities in some way and at some point in your life those actions makes you look twice. Then you go from there, but love shouldn’t be something we stress about. I think love just happens. The definition of true love is different for everybody and every relationship but I think the “I would jump off a cliff for you (but not really)”, holds true, meaning they feel they are a better version of themselves, striving to be all they can be and they would do anything to make sure that doesn’t change. That same concept references Jack Johnson’s “Better Together” lyrical message, and sings in the background of many lovers’ heads.

My special someone dropped everything and moved across country with me and we had the time of our lives living an adventure. In NYC most of the time that adventure is an expensive but much worthy one for us. My guy first entered my life at my very first place of employment, side by side, we made pizzas. He would stay late while I closed and chit chat with me about our interests, Catcher in the Rye and On the Road (our favorite books), and keep me company. Friends first, he taught me how to skip rocks and long board and in return I introduced him to a wardrobe other than corduroys and skate shoes.

Love may seem like it is far away and it is often put on people’s to do list in a way that creates certain limitations; for example marriage by 25, house 26, and two kids by 28. To me that seems like too much, just let it happen. I didn’t plan it, I’m only 20 years old and I’m also in no rush for what comes next. Love also isn’t easy, if it’s really true love they will stick around through the hard times. I think true love enters lives at various ages, 16-60. If it’s the right one, you probably didn’t see it coming and you probably wouldn’t be the same without it.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 1: Kelly Cutrone's "If you have to cry go outside"

Independent, New York, fashion, party, broke, hard work, just dying to be reborn, struggle, and love.
My interest in her insight has lead me to the above words in just the first 62 pages I accomplished on my travels today. Reading Kelly's thoughts really make you think, and that's what I look for most when picking up a book; especially one written by People's Revolution's own star, fashion producing, and hardworking soul that Kelly has proven to be throughout her life.

This is how you've been imprinted to use
your relationship to power-to use it against yourself.
Every day we create reality based on
what we we've been programmed to believe.So
we spend most of our lives not really thinking
clearly and coherently-not intiatied
thought. We spend a great deal of our lives
not really living, but existing in programmed,
reactive belief that we call thought.

We can blame the oppressor, the 
predatory mindset, we can blame it forever
and it doesn't mind. It doesn't care.

We need to use our energy, our 
intelligence in an alternative way to 
the way we have been using it.
-John Trudell
Stole from the introduction and on the matter of "thinking" or rather thought provoking words, art, or people I very much agree with John's own creatures of his mind in this poem.

Sunday, January 23, 2011


My most recent read: Grub by Elise Blackwell.
Found: Los  Angeles Public Library
Eddie, Amanda, Jackson, Margot, and Henry are all writers in the big apple. Of course my interests in both writing and New York city attracted me first. The characters all intertwine in different directions and interactions with eachother. Reading a book about writers in a way distracted me from the writing itself; I found myself paying attention to Blackwell's style, most curious in how she outlined each different individual writing styles profiled in their stories.
Reading about writing.Writing about Reading.

Some of the hopeful authors found success early with a breakout first novel or journal publishings or much later in their career when they discovered their inspirations. The constant struggle in their writing process of figuring the difference between writing what you want to say and writing what people want to read was evident throughout the book's entirety.  I enjoyed the view of their lives, success or not, with their personal lives, writing, and success in the publishing world that was created within the book.

"The difference between an experienced writer and an inexperienced one is the ability to work on a bad day"
May your individual creativity have the power to turn your bad days into positive productive days.

Melrose with Mom

Sundays @ Melrose/Fairfax
9 AM- 5 PM
The Trading Post

Jan 20-23 It was much needed. Pasco to LA for the weekend; my appreciation was beyond words. Every activity, conversation, car ride, or meal together was constantly interrupted by our laughter, but no complaints. We started out Friday by exploring Downtown LA's fashion, sidewalks, famous french dip sandwiches, and lastly the odd characters/creeps you find hanging in Hollywood. After many frequent trips to Hollywood Blvd before this last time proved to be the most enjoyable just because of the simple smile that grazed her face at the sight of someone she had once admired in a movie. The image of her standing above, her own hands out in front of her mimicking the ones imprinted and layed out infront of the Chinese Grauman Theatre, will remain in my mind. The sun was on our side this weekend, very unlike "typical" January ( although does California really understand "typical" seasons?) anyways, it was quite rewarding to enjoy the silence, the LA view, and our individual scoops of ice cream before we headed back home from Hollywood at the end of the day.

Some people never lose the kid in themselves and I feel those people are the ones who have the most fun. Often I'm faced with my own mind torture convincing me I have to do things my way and before I run out of time; although I accept my own "mind torture" is vital to how I function. Besides the point, my mother always knows how to distinguish between work and play; and the appropriate times to mix the two.

Back to the trading post, known for prime trend spotting and treasure hunting it fit right down our alley. Back home some of my favorite things to do with my mom, just her and I, are visiting antique and thrift stores, wake up early to go yard saleing, or discuss our future ideas for decorating our homes. I love that the rustic beauties and odd features found on furniture, fashion, and decor attracts both our eyes providing our interests to intertwine. 
The picture above features my mom taking a break on these great benches; built by putting together 3 chairs. If she didn't have to go on a plane home I'm positive the potential purchase would have crossed her mind. 

It was needed. Thanks mom.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

It's been ten days.

Old friends in town, homemade family meals, beautiful chit chat, views to awe at, and endless stomach aching laughs to be heard. Good people and good times can sometimes be a distraction; in instant this case. Whether it be a distraction from the reality of our lives, our selves, the unfortunate, or the events to come it's there and we have to choose to enjoy it. If not, we will make ourselves miserable and the only one to blame will be ourselves.
I'm learning we simply have to enjoy life and the good people worth sharing that time with. Whatever span of time or situation that may be.

Here is a few pics showing how I've enjoyed myself since the last time I blogged ten days ago. Cliche- but it's the little things.

Sprinkles Red Velvet Cupcake Mix.Mmmmm

 The beauty is not just in the taste-but in the color. I 'm so attracted to color.
 Speaking of colorful foods-enjoy the spring shades found in this delicious mango corn and bean salsa.
 Friends and shoes. How I've spent my days lately.
 View from Runyon, beyond worth it.
Wish you could see the moon better. Newsflash to Cali- It is still Jan, summer hasn't arrived just yet.

enjoy what is happening both next and around you, it's going to be ok.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

trapped in the world of the living.

I'm not sure of so many things. I'm not sure of what happens here after or if there are objects unknown and not apparent to the majority of us around us. I'm not sure of quite where my life is heading or the next events that may occur.

I recently tuned in to this movie called "Wristcutters: a love store" on Netflix due to my boyfriend's suggestion. The name insinuates something along the lines of a plot involving a troubled teen infatuated with the bad boy and a fear indescribable to any but her weapon of choice.  This was all wrong. Yes, there was cutting and love but this movie was more of a trip. Taking you to a place forbidding smiles and that is full of many others' stories of how they personaly offed themselves. Tragic storyline but the theme of "searching" in general takes place. Whether it be searching for someone, the reason why, the what ifs, or the people in charge; I believe we are all searching even if we are aware or not. Despite the name; this movie left me to these thoughts trapped here.

'Trapped in the world of the living' We've all felt at a loss, confused, unlike those surrounding us. I felt this was such a true feeling familar to so many in various situations.
All that is left to say here- simply I'm alive.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Walk on Pretty Woman

Fashion inspires at any time in any form. Fashion reminds you of both the good and bads of the past and helps to feed the future. Sometimes I wish I lived in another generation; but then again the fashion of the past wouldn't have been able to influence me now, in 2011, as they would then. Now wouldn't be here without the then.
Take Flight Spotlight: Julia

 Modern day "hipster"? She had the right idea.
Oh, and I love you Richard Geer.
Fashion has class.

Wrapping up 2010- Fashion good and bads.

Fashion is evolving and lets hope 2011 brings more fashion then trends. I love the admirable amount of "passion for fashion" obsessed followers but I do get sick of the overused terms and the looks that shouldn't be seen in public.

Thank you to The New York Times for publishing the article "Worn Out Fashion Terms" bringing attention to some of the overused expressions heard among this industry. don't have such a problem with the message such terms as eco-fashion and D.I.Y fashion gives; or even the cutesy  trend of "geek-chic" seen in the past year. 2010 really has been a year of trends that i hope become more of a lifestyle and simply stick around. Green fashion just makes sense, D.I.Y embraces your creativity and has the potential to save you money, fashion collaborations of high end and low end such as Lanvin and H&M makes sense for the economy and gives "normal" people the chance to be more exposed; but lastly if anyone refers to my hopeful character and career in the fashion industry as being a "fashionista" I will most likely be offended.

my chosen highlights of a few of these terms-2010

Statement Outfits
 Mondo-King of pattern, color,and statement. Sorry, Heidi but the model wore better.
Gossip Girl- I only watch for the statement outfits, the drama is just a distraction
 The beauty of black and white.
 Cherry Bomb-smoldering in a different shade.
 Some smoldering icons.
Fashion Collaborations

 Alexa Chung for Madewell

 Madonna-Macy's Inspired by Taylor Momsen
 D.I.Y Fashion

 I can't knit, I crochet.
Make your own scarf, there are a million ways. 
Also visit
 Smarts are Sexy.

 Mmmm.Brick. and yah, I would wear that.
 Thank you Stella, Vegan, Green, Fashion.


Happy New Year all.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

your internal abyss awaits you.

a·byss  [uh-bis]  

1 .a deep, immeasurable space, gulf, or cavity; vast chasm.
2 .anything profound, unfathomable, or infinite: the abyss of time.
3. (in ancient cosmogony)
a.the primal chaos before Creation.
b.the infernal regions; hell.
c.a subterranean ocean.
let your body feel. what does it really feel like to really let go of something or really give all of yourself into something? or someone? Within their arms, safety, that feeling is so precious. Reality only allows that feeling to exist for so long, as nice as it is, there is more.There is a point in our lives when things stop, when everything around us is still moving but we feel like we aren't going with them. There is a time when we feel like we have really done something with our lives, relief, then the next step seems to be unsure. Uncertainty is just another reason to give your  mind excuses to stress you out, twist your thoughts. Time is infinite and can serve many purposes; good and bad. I'm at a point where I feel time is  not my friend and I want to push myself more than I ever have before. I'm afraid of the time in between. I can't trust time. 

Find your abyss. Live. Breathe. i'm going to keep telling myself that.

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